Traveling AF AF
Traveling alcohol free…impossible or I’m possible?
In our fifteenth episode of The Happiest of Hours, we discuss my recent vacation to Florida to visit my dad. It was a real journey through the episode, but brought up some great talking points.
When thinking of going alcohol-free for any amount of time, our heads can go to a place where all the things we do with a glass in our hand will somehow be boring or less enjoyable if we don’t have that buzz on. I get it. I was there for many years. However, I was also in a place where evenings would end up sloppy, mornings would begin ugly and the in-between time was just, well, fine. I always came back from vacation feeling like a bloated tick from all the wine, beer and lack of water, needing a vacation from my vacation.
Good times.
There’s no doubt I was nervous for the first vacation without the airport drink to “start my vacation off” no matter what time of day it was. Or without the buzz by the pool, the “wine with dinner”, the piña colada on the beach, the whiskey after a long day on the slopes “to warm me up”. (That last one is just what I imagine someone would feel like, I didn’t drink whiskey) But, as it turns out, every single vacation I have been on without drinking has been…lovely. That’s the best word I can use to describe it.
I don’t have the anxiety walking through the airport that “required” the drink…because I don’t suffer from anxiety anymore. I can sleep on a plane, because I can sleep now. I’m never dehydrated after getting off the plane because I drink water now. I go to bed when I want, get up early with no hangover, explore my surroundings in quiet solitude, I exercise and breathe and eat whatever I want. I also sit by the pool or on a beach with a beer in my hand (AF of course), have the energy (and desire) to swim with my kids, and still get to go out to dinner and ‘have a drink’ like everyone else.
Does this take a little more prep and patience than before? Maybe. Although, I still had to run to the grocery store before to make sure we were stocked for the week with wine and beer. I just buy less and different bevies now. Do I have to look ahead at menus to see if I’m stuck with a CSL or I get to partake in the experience? Yup. It is disappointing sometimes that establishments haven’t caught on yet? Yup. But also, job security.
If you are thinking about trying out a vacation or work trip or somewhere out of your normal comfort zone, alcohol-free, I hope the following tips will help.
#1
Prepare
Preparation is key.
Sometimes the most challenging part of traveling is the anticipation. We pack all the sunscreen, swimsuits, sunglasses and ski boots. We make sure all the pets and the mail and work and people (if we’re leaving them behind) are taken care of at home. We book our plane, train and automobile tickets. And after we finish that full-time job, we might get to go and relax.
If you’re setting an intention to cut back on your vacation drinking or not drink during the trip at all, it’s best to make that commitment as early on in the planning process as possible. As corny as this sounds, begin visualizing how you want the trip look. See yourself experiencing the joy instead of worrying about not drinking. Focus on what you want to happen in order to create the experience you really want. If you catch yourself starting to experience FOMO (fear of missing out) before even zipping up the suitcase, try to bring focus back to your intention. Whatever you’re worried about now hasn’t happened yet. Take a breath.
In addition, I highly suggest taking a week to 10 days off from drinking BEFORE you leave for vacation. Why? The first 10 days of alcohol-free living can be tricky. You might have headaches, feel irritable, annoyed and maybe just down in the dumps. Most people start to come out of the woods around 10 days; that’s the time you want to vacation, not during the detox.
There are a few physical things you can do to help prepare for an alcohol-free vacation.
Research the lodging option. Do they have a bar at the resort? A mini-bar in the room? A restaurant down the street they suggest?
Check to see if the bar has a menu with NA options
Have them clear the mini-bar out of your room before you arrive.
Check out menus at surrounding places to eat and drink
Send AF options in advance (I wish I would have sent some Athletic Brewing to my dad’s in advance of my trip. Would have saved me 3 trips to Publix and $27 in lobster tails)
Prepare yourself for a triggering airport/airplane experience. If you are anything like I was, 7am was a completely acceptable time for a glass of Pinot Grigio at the airport bar. A couple of things you can do to make this easier:
If you go to a restaurant, don’t sit at the bar.
If you need something to eat or drink, overpay for the bottled water and eat all the sugar from the fancy “book” store.
Once you’re on the plane, take out your book, put on your headphones, close your eyes, breathe. Luckily you have to go out of your way to order alcohol on a plane these days, so hopefully the lack of convenience will help avoid the mini-bottles.
Okay, so now we’ve prepared and hopefully gotten to our destination. Now what?
#2
Adventure & Explore
Time to explore.
Plan excursions in the morning so it’s easier to call it an early night. Excursions and tours that have earlier start times are a great way to help you and the people you’re traveling with stay on track. You can certainly do this planning at home before you even go. Easy peasy.
I used to choose a (very expensive) hangover by the pool over culture. While I try not to live with very many regrets, I am sad I missed some of the most amazing places to see because I sat in a dark, dingy bar pounding beers and watching the World Cup. While it sounded fun at the time, I don’t even remember it and I missed exploring an entire city I’ll likely never return to.
Equal parts spontaneity and structure.
The best-laid plans, amiright? It’s great to plan your vacation days; many of us need structure for accountability purposes, but it’s also helpful to be flexible and just “go with the flow.” Sometimes hard for us Black & White folks, but this mindset could help protect you from disappointment if something comes up you’re not expecting. The gray is where the magic is after all…according to Bridget anyway.
You may have to be willing to sit some things out. People have different ideas of how to spend their time on vacation. This is true even without alcohol playing a role. It’s completely acceptable, and in fact necessary, to do your own thing at times. Permission granted.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Priorities may start to shift when catching a buzz isn’t at the top of your to-do list. No one was more shocked by this than me. It’s been one of my greatest joys to find things on vacation that are all my own; sunrise walks are mine.
#3
Stay Connected
Phone a friend.
Bucking your normal routine and discovering new experiences while traveling, even if you are in a great place in your self-care journey, it’s always a good idea to have some trusted advisors in place for you to call on. Yes to turning on your out-of-office, no to shutting off your support system. If it’s a friend or family member, keep your lines open. If it’s the sober Instagram community, scroll away. There’s no prize for making this hard on yourself. If you need to reach out, do it.
Bridget and I are always here too! And we love to see beautiful places around the world.
#4
Relax & Recharge
Easier said than done.
I say this in the podcast episode, but it’s important to say again. All the things I romanticized about drinking; the relaxation, the social lubricant, the freedom from anxiety, the carefree laughter, joy and fun, are the things I actually get from NOT drinking. This can seem hard to believe, I didn’t until I got here, but that relaxing feeling we all want from vacation, and work our asses off for at our jobs and in the home, is the feeling I now get sitting by the pool, sober.
Again, we all have different ideas of what vacation means and going alcohol-free might change that drastically for you and your family or friends. Know your why, keep self-care at the top of your list, be confident in your decision, prepare the best you can. And, remember that most of the challenges you come up against will come, and then just go. And they’re all way better than a sunburn with a side of hangover.
Our Favorite Gift
Of course, if you’re looking for the perfect gift for the non-drinker in your life, the Mocks & Cocks Box is just the thing.
I hope this gives you and your guests some options when it comes to alcohol over the next few weeks. We’ll have more tips and tricks so stay tuned!
